mamma..!!!

ma..
in your eyes...i see love..
by your words..i am motivated..
you mean the world to me..
wish..i could bring the world down to your feet...


my mum..the sweetest person in my world of people.she has always been more of a friend than a mother.we have shared all our joys and problems.ever since i was a kid,i have known her to be so full of life..so much that she could paint the town in all colors.an awesome cook..shez the envy of quite a few friends of mine.
just one look at me..and she'd say what am about to say..
she'd know what is wrong with me..
she'd tell what am thinking..

i used to be so shocked..as to how she'd just read my face.because of the same reason..i could never think of giving her a surprise..i would go to her and say,"mamma,guess what happened today??".she'd just say it..!!and she'd burst out laughing..!i could never understand how she managed to do that...then later i realized..guess..that's how mothers are..they know us so well..inside out...

be it my grades or my crushes..i've told her all.she'd say,"it is better if i know from you than coming to know from a third person".both of us have a lot of things in common..shopping!for instance..(poor appa..though!)on a holiday,both of us(my sister'd prefer playing to roaming in the sun..!!)would go around window shopping..well shopping too!!we'd start from home with all promises of not buying "yet another dress"..but,of course,the promise is forgotten as we cross the threshold!!and we would be talking,laughing..and buying...

am in a hostel now.and when i get back home during holidays,god..!!i don't stop talking.i'd always have so much to tell her..it's the same vice versa too.we could go on endless..about anything and everything in the world..!

she has taught me so much..i used to have this exam phobia ever since i was in kindergarten(though..i dint even know what an exam meant..that time..!)and she kept talking me out of that..giving me so much confidence..that..a few years later,that fear just vanished.she has always encouraged positive thinking.and i know how much i have transformed over the past few years..trying to inculcate every thing she wanted me to..whatever i am today..is all because of her silent efforts.

ma..i owe you whatever i am today..you are the main motivating force in my life..you are simply amazing..
love you..ma..


GOD can't take care of everything..that's why he made mothers..

why??


do i know him??have i seen him before??have we met??do we share something similar???...
then...why does he stand out in a crowd??why does his presence makes me feel protected??why do i see him when he is not there??why do i think of him when i dont know him??why does his smile give a meaning to my life??why do his sorrows make me cry??why do his thoughts occupy my mind??why does every face i see,seem to bear a resemblance of his??why do my eyes search for him in a crowd??why does every song relate to him??why do rains remind me of him??why does he come in my dreams??why do i see him when i gaze at the moon??why do his eyes seem to be lookin at me??why does calling out his name gives me solace??why does my heart melt when i hear him speak??why do i yearn to be with him??why do i lose myself thinking about him??why do i smile to myself??why does his existence decide mine??

why???...

why does'nt time stop???


12th standard..board exams..the period which is dreaded by almost every teenager..a milestone which signifies the end of the very happy & fun filled schooling..and the entrance into professional studies..which supposedly decide what you will be a couple of years later..an engineering degree in my case.
there used to be so much contemplation and discussion regarding what course to choose..what college to join..rather..what to do!!finally,the month of march arrived with all it's beautiful blossoms..bringing with it "the exams" which apparently shape my destiny!!the month came and went..& to my surprise..i was not even half as wound up as i thought i need to be..my exams went fine & i got into BITS,Pilani...
now,this is what i call a true spot in the middle of nowhere!!you can't reach pilani without a throbbing headache..why??thanks to the bumpy roads & the not so comfy buses..anyways i landed here..a look around the campus revealed the clock tower,lush roadsides(stark contrast to the scenery outside),ancient buildings,pigeon hole sized hostel rooms & the very beautiful saraswati temple..think of being all on your own!!i was so excited!!i checked into my room..i thanked god..rather birlaji,the girls' hostels were better..i was to share my room with another girl..who finally turned up after two full days..after her parents left.
soon,the inroduction sessions began as i tried to make as many new friends as possible..of course the classes began the very next day..we started having those late nite sessions talking about every possible thing under the sun..laughing over anything..getting famialiarized with the bitsian slangs..!!later..there were these tales...the scores,the new clothes,the eat outs,the innumerable crushes,the birthdays,the movies,the books,the gossips,the classes...
everyone seemed to be trying to absorb everything..i made lots of friends in the first few months..thanx to the gift of gab!!well, the academics part of this place..i dont want to mention!!very rigid & taxing..but yeah,i never actually took it serious enough to affect me adversely!!so...lite!!chill!!


there was a point of time when i wanted to run away from this haven..could have given anything to be back at home..but in this span of two years..i've learnt so much..had so much fun..this place has given me beyond whatever i could ask for..taught me to live..
it's terrifying to think of being thrown into a world which is so full of deceit,hatred,envy,gloom...at the end of my life in this place..which has been so comforting,so giving...

i dont want to go..please..
oh seconds..stop ticking..
hours..stop passing...
years..stop flying...please...

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